"I Am Not Good at Succeeding"

I know what your wondering…what?!! Or you are probably nodding your head agreeing with me. I realized something. As most people, I want to be successful. And I feel like I’ve been trying for a long time but I just can’t seem to get it together. I know I have it in me; I know I’ve thought it through, worked out the steps to take but something is holding me back. Sometimes it even feels like an invisible physical feeling of being held back. So I’ve been sitting here for a few days trying to figure why, what, etc. Well I’ve been listening to inspirational interviews with motivational people and reading amazing books. And I came across an interview that Chase Jarvis (founder of Creative Live) did with Lewis Howes for his podcast and he said something; he said there are three fears that hold us back: Fear of Failure, Fear of Success and the Fear of Judgment. It got me thinking. I’ve heard of these fears before and in the back of mind I knew my fears. But what was different this time was that one of those fear stood out in a way I didn’t think of before and I accepted and understood that I have a fear of success. It’s ironic that I want to be successful in my dreams and goals but at the same time I am afraid of it. Perhaps I am afraid of not knowing how I would be able to handle it and how I would be able to continue it if I succeeded so I allowed perfectionism to become an excuse. If it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t ready. And I wouldn’t give myself a chance to progress. I got good at not succeeding. My fear was holding me back. Wow! I understood my fear for the first time. Understanding it has given me a bit more freedom in a way. I’m not making excuses to cover that fear up. I realized that I was in the comfort of being good at not succeeding. I made stories and excuses to justify the obstacles that were in the way of succeeding but in reality I was hiding behind that because of the fear of success and judgment. So now I work towards my goals everyday, even if it is for 10 minutes and I am learning to loosen the grip on perfectionism. As long as I am making myself better and working on my goals I am succeeding. Each step is a success.